Homemade Tofurkey

Since I’ve started weightlifting, I’ve been trying to make and eat more seitan because it has “good macros,” i.e. a lot of protein compared to other elements. Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s book Fake Meat has been a useful companion because it’s taught me many seitan tricks. There’s seitan made with beans, seitan made with tofu, seitan made with TVP, crumbly seitan, firm seitan—you name it. Today I made the “Roast Turki” which creates two small logs of what is basically tofurkey.

First you have to prepare TVP. This is the second seitan I made with TVP and the first one, a meatloaf, was too moist. It would have been great for a different meal, but honestly you want meatloaf to be kind of dry. This recipe explains what I did wrong in the last one. “If you don’t squeeze enough [water from the cooked TVP] it will mess up the water/gluten ratio and the world will end.” I’m sorry, my too-moist meatloaf might be responsible for what’s going on in the US government right now.

Next I had to blend up some secret ingredients including agar powder. I only had agar flakes, so I searched the Internet to see what the conversion ratio is. I found “it’s 1:1 as long as you grind the flakes,” 3:1, 4:1, and “it’s impossible to switch between the two.” I split the difference and added 3.5x as much flakes as the powder called for. I combined the TVP, secret slurry, and seasoned vital wheat gluten to make the dough. The texture was pleasant to knead; moist, but not worryingly so. Then I shaped it into two logs to bake.

Two brown loaves of fake meat on a white cutting board.

The finished loaves were juicier than expected, certainly juicier than Tofurkey. The taste was very Tofurkey-esque though. I think my agar conversion worked out ok, but I may still have had too much liquid in my dough.

I used one loaf in a recipe for Turki Tetrazzini from the same book. I vaguely remember seeing turkey tetrazzini in women’s magazines in the 80s; it’s one of those cream of mushroom soup casseroles. The weird part is that it uses whole spaghetti noodles in the casserole. The flavoring was more or less the same as the turki, giving it a bit too much sameness. The creaminess makes it comforting, though, so I think I will be looking forward to the leftovers when I’m tired from work.

Cheese-topped casserole

I also sliced some for sandwiches. It was fine!

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